Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Michael Bay diarrhea
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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