So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
