this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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