I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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