so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize