Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
