you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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