is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
