I think I am morally bankrupt
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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