Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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