yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
