You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
