Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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