He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Randomize
