it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
