i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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