OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
