so let's talk penis.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
