you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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