I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
