Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
