I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
