it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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