i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
