Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He felt like a one man threesome
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
