Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I want a musical about memes.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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