Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I think my fart just growled at me.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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