we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
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