I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
