She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
