And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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