Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
