Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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