Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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