oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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