I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
