tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
