So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
