and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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