btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
