So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
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we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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