If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize