he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
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Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
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He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?