ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.