Texts From Last Night

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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.

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  (503): I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best. http://tfl.nu/fuew
  Replies (15) Good night (4754) Bad night (1211)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.

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  (201): He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college. http://tfl.nu/379h
  Replies (44) Good night (4255) Bad night (778)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?

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  (815): He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for? http://tfl.nu/k6v7
  Replies (16) Good night (1250) Bad night (3897)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?

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  (330): Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway? http://tfl.nu/zrwz
  Replies (20) Good night (4474) Bad night (1213)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.

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  (917): She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter. http://tfl.nu/oq3f
  Replies (4) Good night (1204) Bad night (2839)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.

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  (605): You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex. http://tfl.nu/lyw2
  Replies (10) Good night (4964) Bad night (1048)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.

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  (734): I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel. http://tfl.nu/6ex0
  Replies (8) Good night (1011) Bad night (2036)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..

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  (540): margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted.. http://tfl.nu/mj6g
  Replies (3) Good night (1050) Bad night (817)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?

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  (781): Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it? http://tfl.nu/aevy
  Replies (10) Good night (1482) Bad night (675)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.

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  (734): If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date. http://tfl.nu/hoqh
  Replies (1) Good night (695) Bad night (351)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins

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  (412): You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins http://tfl.nu/ug6k
  Replies (2) Good night (855) Bad night (464)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on

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  (503): I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on http://tfl.nu/i6tt
  Replies (4) Good night (521) Bad night (368)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.

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  (239): This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries. http://tfl.nu/qlqz
  Replies (5) Good night (574) Bad night (434)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo

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  (518): We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo http://tfl.nu/l3yn
  Replies (3) Good night (356) Bad night (772)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.

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  (609): The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here. http://tfl.nu/fl13
  Replies (1) Good night (492) Bad night (447)

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