carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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