Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize