I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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