I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
