im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize