Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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