playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
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What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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