so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Naked Twister starts at high noon
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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