it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
