How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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