She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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