But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
