you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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