Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
