dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Can you repeat that, but with context?
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