She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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