a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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