Betty ford says i'm here all night
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
