Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
